Rossregarding Ben: "I don't believe this! I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over? The first time he crawled? What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet? Is he driving? Does he have a favorite liquer?"

Ross: "I don't know whether he's testing me or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control!"

Ross: "You know how the nurse said that Nana had passed, well she's not quite."
Mrs Geller: "What?"
Ross: "She's not passed, she's present."

Ross: "Are you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy."

Rossto Joey: "Well hey, you're an actor. I say you just suck it up and do it.
Rachelgives him a strange look
Ross: "Or you just do it..."

Chandler: "Come on, you told me about the last dream!"
Rachel: "Oh, OK. Well, this time, you weren't the only one there. Joey was there too."
Ross: "Was...ummm...anyone...anyone else there?"
Rachel: "No."
Ross: "You sure? No one was handing out mints?"

Rossto Monica: "Hey! I married a lesbian to make you look good!"

Chandler: [reading cake] "Happy Birthday, Peohee".
Monica: "Maybe we can make a 'b' out of one of those roses."
Ross: "Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools."

Rossto Marcel: "Oh god - we didn't get into Scranton. That was like our safety zoo."

Rachel: "He'd already named both my breasts. Eeew - did I just share too much?"
Ross: "Just a smidge."

Ross: "So, Rachel, what are you up to tonight?"
Rachel: "Well, I was kind of supposed to be headed to Aruba for my honeymoon, so... nothing."
Ross: "Oh, that's right, you're not even getting your honeymoon! But, although, uh, Aruba, this time of year, talk about your... big lizards."

Ross: "I'm fine. I'm just having my worst fear realized."

Rossto Rachel: "What about, 'Forget relationships. I'm through with men.' The whole penis embargo?"

Rossto Paolo: "Do you know what 'crapweasel' means?"

Rachel: "Hey, did you guys check out the new handryers in the bathroom?"
Rossgasping: "I thought that was just a rumor!"

Rosssinging to the tune of the Monkees' theme to Carol's pregnant tummy: "Hey hey, I'm your daddy! I'm the one without any breasts."

Ross: "Hey Phebes...are you going to eat the rest of that poptart?"
Phoebe: "...Does anyone want the rest of this poptart?"
Ross: "Hey, Imight!"

Joeylooking at his cigar: "How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?"
Ross: "Well, for starters, you might want to light it and lose the spatula."

Ross: "What are you doing?"
Rachel: "Uh. I'm holding Ben."
Ross: "Yeah, well, he's a baby, not a bomb."

Ross: "Susan, go deep"

Phoebe: "Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite Carol to Thanksgiving dinner?"
Ross: "Ooh, ooh, because she'd probably want to bring her lesbian life partner."

Rossafter Barry has professed his love for Rachel: "We've gotto start locking' that door!"

Ross: "Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?"

Ross: "What about Phoebe's birthday?"
Joey: "Is that today? What are the odds?!"
{long pause}
Ross: "You take your time."
{Joey gets it}
Chandler: "Theeeeeere it is!"

Monica: "So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?"
Joey: "Oh, we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both greew it, we'd look like dorks."
Ross: "Yeah. You really sidestepped that landmine."

Ross: "Stop ... stop cleansing my aura."

Ross: "I'm not in the friend zone."
Joey: "You're mayorof the zone."

Monica: "Can I ask you guys a question? Do you ever think Alan is maybe, sometimes...I dunno...a little tooAlan?"
Rachel: "Oh, no, that's not possible. You can never be too Alan."
Ross: "Yeah, it's his innate Alannessthat, that, that , we adore."
Chandler: "I personally could have a gallon of Alan."

Rossto Chandler: "Since you saw her boobies, I think you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee."

Ross"I suppose we're looking for a more sophisticated answer than, 'To get you into bed?'"

Rossto Paolo: "I think I speak for everyone when I say... [slams door in Paulo's face]"

Ross: "Look! It's the artist formerly known as Chandler."

Ross: "I believe the word your looking for is...Anyway"